life ain't so bad at all...live your life off the wall

im in the language lab
still
trying soo hard.

i remember the first day of either 7th or 8th grade. it was 7th grade. we got the grown up desks. the kind that didnt have any space for you to store your colored pencils or fancy lisa frank folders. they're also the kind that are attached to the chair. i remember having a mini- breakdown in class because i couldnt slide my chair away from the desk. i just kept pushing and pushing trying to...basically rip it apart. haha i was such a freak. well i should rephrase that, i AM such a freak. i just had the same mini-breakdown in the language lab because i couldnt fit my books, waterbottle, ipod, pencil case on the desk and still have room to breathe. i hate feeling like i can't move. its the worst. okay now i've adjusted and i have all my things on the floor. hopefully no one will attempt to sit in this row because thats just hopeless...for them.

im learning to freak out less over little things. i never really freak out publicly unless its over something SO trivial that its completely obvious that i couldnt possibly be serious. but i freak out over little things on the inside. things that i convince myself mean so much more than they do. nothing means anything! ahh it really doesnt. except for this arabic midterm. that means a lot to me. which is why i've been studying forever, and i'll probably still get a c+ or some other bullshit grade like that.

ken called today. i love ken haha. hes so funny. he always feels the need to arrange our random hang outs a week in advance and then once they happen...pretend that they were completley spontaneous. i love people who greet you as though it is the most remarkable thing that they ran into you. its perfectly ridiculous. wow i definitely just thought that i saw my high school french teacher walk by the language lab. i wish i wish i wish i did. last night i realized that my favorite arabic song...is a wedding song. figures my domestic ass would pick a wedding song to sing to myself day and night. speaking of arabic i need to keep studying. and studying. and studying.