dreadlock holiday.

i need to stop
being a lazy asshole
just for a while.


i always seem to think that i have a right to be lazy. im not really sure where that idea came from but it needs to burn up and die. im not owed anything by anyone in this world. i have a disgustingly easy life yet i still sometimes feel that i need to indulge my complacency. so dumb.

with that said im probably not going to go to pilates tomorrow. i just dont really care. im starting to think i shouldn't have signed on to do this certification deal. but thats also so dumb. i really do enjoy doing it and i need to face the fact that i will need to eat and have a place to live one day....and those things require money. money i need to make.

there are a few songs that i have listened to lately that i really like. the thing that makes these few songs so goddamn special is that they are all songs i have heard possibly the first 10-15 seconds of many many times and have simply skipped over them. i encourage you all to listen to each song you may stumble upon in its
entirety...you may be pleasantly surprised.

speaking of surprises. sometimes surprises are not so pleasant. especially when they come from people who know nothing about you yet still feel that they have the right to assume things...personal things. i think im most surprised at the misconception of obligation. i am not obligated to do anything ever. period. i feel obligated to do certain things based on my personal morals, the way i was raised, the postion of venus' 3rd moon, etc. however i am not obligated to do anything....i feel as though that is not understood very well by others. none of my actions or lack of actions entitle anyone to assume anything...ever. thats just me being real. yea.

okay i need to go to bed and at least give myself a chance of getting up early. just needs to happen. i wish i was talking to him now.