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it is almost 5 in the morning.
i have a final in 4 and a half hours.
i an once again unaffected.

im sitting here with jillian. not really studying. talking to some friends of mine about awfully serious things. trying to keep my dyslexia under control. and dreaming up christmas. i wish i was home right now. i really truly do. i got some presents today which was nice. im glad i was able to do that. nell and i walked around downtown for a while. trying to find the apple store. we found it. and many other things. im listening to zero 7 now and feeling very tripped out.

just wanted to share this story with you all. it sparked many things tonight.

i was on the subway. and i was watching a little boy eat his cheerios. he may have been 9 months old...im guessing. and he was just sitting in his stroller...completely content with his cheerios. at one point, maybe in between cheerios or when he was finished he just stopped what he was doing. sort of leaned back in his chair. extended his arm and stared at his hand. he just looked at it, without moving for a while. he looked curious, and suprised. he started to move his fingers through the air and open and clench his fist. he would bend some of his fingers, one by one. and twist his wrist back and forth. and the look on his face was so incredible. he was just staring at his hand as if he was just soo amazed that he had this brilliant thing attached to his body that he had never taken the time to fully appreciate before. he was so surprised that he could have ignored this amazing beautiful thing. and all he wanted to do was stop and stare at it. and just love it. and it completely blew me away. it made me think of all the things i take for granted. walking, talking, feeling. i do all these things whenever and however i want. with no thought, no pain, no struggle. it is beautiful the way i am allowed to live my life and i am grateful for so much. when i remember to be at least.

just think of what you can do with one hand and then remember that you have two.